The Power of Surrender

An Important Message for Strong, Independent Women

Society often looks upon women who are strong and independent with respect and admiration and often these types of women have also achieved huge successes in their life, have done well in the careers and, if they have a family, appear to be able to manage their family and career quite well. Does this sound like you, or someone you know?

More often than not, unbeknown to the outside looking in, the strong and independent woman is operating like a robot, fuelled by the expectations of her peers and society, and most likely the unreasonably high expectations she holds of herself. In order to uphold her appearance of being strong and independent and portray her ability to stand on her own two feet and not have to rely on anyone else, she creates a wall of sorts, a boundary around herself protecting her emotions from any outside influences that could inadvertently see through and send tumbling down this façade she has created, this coping mechanism to live in the world as she believes she should.

I was this woman, and I believe that there are many women in the world today who live their lives behind this facade. It wasn't until I experienced a life changing event in my life, one where I had absolutely no control and had to stand back and witness my "wall" falling down around me, that I came to understand that, like anything in life, these characteristics of being strong and independent are definitely positive yet if not applied in our lives in a balanced way can have a detrimental effect and prevent us from access to the abundance of life and love that is freely available to us.

It was a month to the day before I was to be wed to the love of my life, Tony. We had been together for five years and at the age of 24 this was a lifetime. My life was his, his was mine, we had our future mapped out together. We'd built a house together, and had many hopes, dreams and plans that we were excited to be sharing together. Tragically, on this day, he was taken from this life in a freak car accident. In that moment my life as I had envisaged it not longer existed, I had nothing left of myself, and I had no control over the situation. Having lost all control my immediate reaction to ensure survival was to switch on the strong and independent side of me to maximum control. During this period of immense grief and loss I was unable to uphold this control and naturally fell in to a state of ultimate surrender, unable of anything more. It was at this point, that the universe showed to me the love and abundance that is on hand once we let go of the need to control and surrender to "what will be".

Amazingly, the community in which I lived, my family, friends, people I didn't even know, and people I didn't even like at the time, came to my support. I was embraced with a communal love that I never knew existed and was supported in ways I never would have expected. I took a short trip away to try and escape the grief I felt was suffocating me. During this time, my community banded together and completed the house that Tony and I had been building together. Not long after I was presented with a car that the community had also organised to buy for me. I cannot explain the gratitude I feel towards my community but today I can understand that this is just how the world is at heart. This is the essence of society and who we are, how, if we were all to let go of control, anger and hate, we could all be living every moment of our lives.

There are many lessons that have been learned from this experience in my life however the most poignant for me was the one of the power of surrender. This lesson re-iterating that we are all ONE and cannot possibly operate at our highest potential strictly independently.

You may feel like it is a positive characteristic to be independent and not have to rely on anyone else but there is a difference between relying on outside influences to make you happy and allowing yourself to access those outside influences. Asking for help is not admitting defeat but is a tool you can use to allow yourself the opportunity to tap in to the resources that are rightfully yours, ours, provided by the universe for everyone to share. These resources are in endless abundance and are all within our reach when we allow ourselves to be open to them.